The Movie Snob fesses up:
The Last Legion (C). Can you imagine a swords-and-sandals epic starring Colin Firth, of Bridget Jones and Pride & Prejudice fame, as a Maximus-style Roman warrior? No, you can’t. Nobody’s imagination is that good. Instead, you have to go see this cheesy-in-a-good-way flick. In the waning days of the Roman Empire, 12-year-old Romulus (Thomas Brodie-Sangster, The Maze Runner) is crowned emperor only hours before the city is sacked by the barbaric Goths. The boy Caesar is taken prisoner and has to be rescued by a rag-tag band of survivors. These include doughty Aurelius (Firth), a hippie-looking philosopher played by Ben Kingsley (Transsiberian), and a beautiful warrior from the east named Mira (Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai, Bride and Prejudice). The group decides to head off to Britannia, I guess because they all have British accents already anyway, and on the way they discover Julius Caesar’s own sword, which bears an inscription something like “ES CALIBUR.” Hint! Hint! Firth looks embarrassed throughout, which is amusing during the fight scenes and inexplicable during the scenes when the exotic Mira is making goo-goo eyes at him.